In the Catholic tradition, marriage has significance not only for the bride and groom and their families, but also for the entire Church. The union of husband and wife in marriage is hallowed by God (Genesis 2) and, when two baptized persons marry, was raised to the dignity of a sacrament by Jesus the Lord. To ensure that the engaged couple has adequate time to prepare in a serious way, the initial contact with the Church must be made at least nine months in advance of the couple’s proposed wedding date. One year is ideal.
Preliminary Preparation
Registration: At least one of the two must belong to the parish where they intend to marry. This implies an established relationship with the parish community. Parishioners often require a letter of recommendation from their home parish if they wish to marry in a different parish.
Initial Meeting with the Priest: This first meeting is essential. The priest or marriage coordinator will guide the couple regarding the specific requirements and norms of the Diocese of Stockton and St. Jude Parish for Catholic marriage. The initial dialogue with the priest will be based in a form that contains questions that will guide the conversation. Topics may include:
Civil Status of the Couple: Ensuring both parties are free to marry sacramentally, including verifying if either has been previously married. If so, prior marriages must be reviewed to determine nullity through the annulment process.
Statement of Intentions: The priest will inquire whether the couple has a genuine and free intention to marry, desires to start a family, and accepts the Church's teachings on marriage.
Dialogue Format: The initial conversation will follow a structured questionnaire guiding the discussion.
Initial Documentation: The couple must present the following:
Premarital forms: Form A (Bride/Groom Questionnaire) and Form B (Premarital Witness Testimony).
Recent baptismal certificates, first communion, and confirmation (the three Sacraments of Chistian initiation) issued within the last six months.
Civil marriage license, necessary for both ecclesiastical and legal recognition.
Natural Family Planning Course: Either personalized or through diocesan sessions.
2. Premarital Preparation Programs Participating in a program during the nine months prior to the wedding can help the couple grow together. Couples can choose from the following options:
Relationship with God and shared faith life: Exploring the role of faith, grace, and sacraments in marriage.
Communication and conflict resolution: Strategies for healthy communication and addressing challenges.
Parenthood and Natural Family Planning (NFP): Church teachings on NFP and openness to life.
Financial management and joint life planning: Reflections on teamwork in financial decisions.
Marriage fundamentals: Unity, fruitfulness, and indissolubility.
Family as the domestic church: Parents as primary educators of their children’s faith.
The Diocese of Stockton requires an NFP course led by a certified instructor.
Programs may have associated fees, and a donation for the same amount is appreciated.
Pastoral Counseling with the Priest: The priest will review the premarital assessment results and plan the sacrament's celebration.
All marriage preparations must be completed at the Catholic party’s home parish at least one month before the wedding date.
3. Civil and Ecclesiastical Documentation
Certificates and Additional Documents: Along with sacramental certificates, the parish may require letters of reference or affidavits of freedom to marry (testimonies affirming the couple's freedom to marry).
Civil Marriage License: Couples must obtain a marriage license according to state laws before the ceremony.
Sponsors or Witnesses: Some cultures include sponsors as witnesses of the couple’s commitment. Sponsors should be faithful Christians and exemplary in their faith.
4. Liturgical Planning
Date Selection: Couples must select their wedding date at least nine months in advance after the initial preparation has been completed. Weddings are not allowed during the Paschal Triduum (Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday), solemnities, Sundays, parish festival dates, or when the office is closed.
Language preference: Couples will indicate if they prefer the ceremony to be in English, Spanish, or bilingual.
Liturgy Planning: In collaboration with the priest or liturgical team, the couple will select:
Scripture Readings: One from the Old Testament, a Psalm, a second reading from the Epistles, and a Gospel. Readings should reflect Christian marriage values. A list of possible readings will be provided. Copies of the selected readings will be provided for lectors.
Prayers of the Faithful: Prepared by the presiding priest, to be read by a family member.
Music: Music choices must respect the sacred nature of the sacrament. A list of parish choirs or external musicians will be provided. Non-sacred songs or music is only allowed before or after Mass and only outside of the church.
Optional Symbols Preparation:
Rings and arras (coins): Represent love, fidelity, unity, and shared economy.
Lazo (cord): Symbolizes the couple's spiritual and indissoluble union.
Pre-Wedding Confession: Couples are encouraged to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation to spiritually prepare and receive God’s grace before the wedding ceremony.
5. Logistics
Internet Access: St. Jude Parish has Wi-Fi; requests for its use should be made prudently.
Floral Arrangements: The church opens one hour before the ceremony for flower placement.
Authorized Personnel: A sacristan or coordinator will oversee decorations and ensure parish guidelines are followed.
Rehearsal: Scheduled for the same week as the wedding.
Associated fees: The following fees are associated with marriages:
Check with the parish office for the current fee structure.
All fees should be paid in full before the date of the marriage ceremony.
Important note: In case of an unforeseen situation that is necessary to change or cancel the date of the wedding, the couple should notify the parish office as soon as possible. Parish office staff cannot guarantee any future dates.
All celebrations at the parish will include a brief introductory welcome and orientation as part of the beginning remarks.
6. Marriage Celebration and Documentation
Celebration of the marriage: The rite of marriage can be celebrated within a complete mass (if both are Catholic) or within a liturgy of marriage outside of mass (if one is not Catholic). The following steps are essential:
Exchange of vow or consent: The couple commits themselves to love and respect each other “in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad.”
Blessing of the rings and arras: The priest will bless the rings and arras as symbols of commitment and unity.
Nuptial blessing: This special prayer invokes the blessing of God over the couple, asking that the grow in love and holiness.
Signing of Legal Documents: Following the celebration, the couple, the priest, and the witnesses sign the ecclesial marriage certificate, which will be stored in the parish archives. The couple should also register the marriage for the civil recognition of the same.
7. Post-Marriage Accompaniment
Post marriage talks or pastoral follow-up: Many parishes offer a ministry for newly married couples, offering them support during their first years of marriage, which tend to be a time of adjustment and growth. This includes talks, retreats, and meetings of groups of married couples.
Active Participation in the Parish Community: Newlyweds are invited to integrate themselves into the activities of the parish, especially in ministries that promote strengthening family life, such as the groups of faith formation or of marriage.
The parish will provide a gift to the new spouses in the form of a prayer for the marriage and a remembrance of St. Jude.
This process allows the couple to not only fulfill the formal requirements, but also to live an experience of faith and deep spiritual preparation with the accompaniment of the community, their family, and the guidance of the Church. Prayer of spouses Lord, our God, we bless you. for taking our love in your hands. Help us fulfill our mission. Come share our life. Help us educate our children, to be witnesses of your love in our family and in the community. Give us strength in discouragements; Share our joys. Lord, bless our love. Amen.
“So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
